So I’m a lush and I have found my new favorite hobby–finding new and unusual vehicles for booze. I’ve basically learned you can blend anything and add vodka and you can find heaven. (People put Clamado in Bloody Marys for years, so whatever I do can’t be stranger than drinking the juice of a bottom dweller).
What do you do when you have an overripe cantaloupe in your fridge and plenty of vodka that your horrible ex-roommate left for you? Make smoothies. Duh. I normally don’t like sweeter drinks, but fresh fruit cocktails are always to die for. The benefit of using cantaloupe is that a normal-sized cantaloupe is around 200 to 300 calories and pretty giant. Cut the skin off the cantaloupe, remove the seeds, and toss it in a food processor (or blender). Add vodka to your liking, knowing that vodka is around 100 calories a shot, then process the hell out of that cantaloupe. Wait until smooth and serve! One cantaloupe makes about four, 50 calorie, virgin cocktails. However, if you drink them virgin, just don’t let me know, I’ve been tired lately and I don’t have the energy to make fun of you.
This is Lindsay and me as kids. She, apparently, did not have to face an awkward phase, while I decided that eating my teddy bear was acceptable. Maybe she had an ugly T-shirt phase, but didn’t everyone in the early 90′s? I was an extremely rambunctious kid who always needed attention (act surprised please), and she was a total champion playing the stupid, Sweet Valley High School board game with me every time she saw me, although she hated it. So Lindsay, after this post, I promise no more drinking recipes for a while! (Not like this is nearly enough to make up for what I must have put you through.)
Yup, there it is. Pretty little bottle too. I found it in the giant Warehouse Wine and Spirits on Broadway and 8th St., but it seems pretty easy to come by on the Internet. 
. Plus, unlike Bethany, nothing on my body is plastic….
**Look at that fancy manicure**
