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Archive for the ‘Drinks (For The Low Cal Left Brain)’ Category

So I’m a lush and I have found my new favorite hobby–finding new and unusual vehicles for booze.  I’ve basically learned you can blend anything and add vodka and you can find heaven.  (People put Clamado in Bloody Marys for years, so whatever I do can’t be stranger than drinking the juice of a bottom dweller).

What do you do when you have an overripe cantaloupe in your fridge and plenty of vodka that your horrible ex-roommate left for you?  Make smoothies. Duh. I normally don’t like sweeter drinks, but fresh fruit cocktails are always to die for.  The benefit of using cantaloupe is that a normal-sized cantaloupe is around 200 to 300 calories and pretty giant.  Cut the skin off the cantaloupe, remove the seeds, and toss it in a food processor (or blender).  Add vodka to your liking, knowing that vodka is around 100 calories a shot, then process the hell out of that cantaloupe.  Wait until smooth and serve!  One cantaloupe makes about four, 50 calorie, virgin cocktails.  However, if you drink them virgin, just don’t let me know, I’ve been tired lately and I don’t have the energy to make fun of you.

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I don’t really have anything to say other than this may be the only cocktail I will drink for the rest of my life.  Oh, and it makes one serving at about 175 calories, which is not so bad for a martini!
  • Graham Cracker Crumbs
  • 1.5 ounces (1 shot) Vanilla Soy Creamer
  • 0.5 ounce (1/3 shot) Key Lime Juice
  • 2 ounces Pineapple Orange Juice (or just Pineapple)
  • 1.5 (1 shot) to 2 ounces Vodka (based on taste)

Rim the glass with graham cracker crumbs.  Combine remaining ingredients with ice in a shaker.  Shake, pour and serve!!!

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OK, so this is another drinking post.  I was told by my Aunt Lindsay and maybe one or two others that I’ve done too many posts about drinking lately–while Little Mommies also informed me that my zucchini posts were becoming too numerous as well.  I’m sorry people, but I really like zucchini, and I really like a nice cocktail.  I know that the low calorie, vitamin-rich characteristics are much more important than any alcohol content; however, one drink a day is known to be good for your heart.  And, I just care about all your hearts.

jandl2This is Lindsay and me as kids.  She, apparently, did not have to face an awkward phase, while I decided that eating my teddy bear was acceptable.  Maybe she had an ugly T-shirt phase, but didn’t everyone in the early 90′s?  I was an extremely rambunctious kid who always needed attention (act surprised please), and she was a total champion playing the stupid, Sweet Valley High School board game with me every time she saw me, although she hated it. So Lindsay, after this post, I promise no more drinking recipes for a while!  (Not like this is nearly enough to make up for what I must have put you through.)

So now, back to alcohol.  Recently, I have been experimenting with flavored vodkas to add interest to my martinis, and stumbled upon greatness.  Many brands, including Firefly, have created a Sweet Tea vodka.  Yes, SWEET TEA VODKA.  It’s slightly lower proof than regular vodka (70 instead of 80), which probably means the calories are slightly higher.  However, everywhere I have looked, it appears to be about the same calories as normal vodka–100 calories per shot.  Rico and I played around for a while and developed these two recipes for your delight.

firefly-sweet-tea-vodkaYup, there it is.  Pretty little bottle too.  I found it in the giant Warehouse Wine and Spirits on Broadway and 8th St., but it seems pretty easy to come by on the Internet.

Easy Classic

  • 1 shot of Sweet Tea vodka
  • 1 tablespoon lemon juice
  • 1 shot of water
  • Ice

Mix and Enjoy!

Anti-Arnold Palmer

  • 1 shot Sweet Tea vodka
  • 2 shots lemonade
  • Ice

Mix and Enjoy!

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So, anyone who has turned on their TV and passed through Bravo has seen the Real Housewives of New York City.  One of the housewives, Bethany, is a natural food chef and makes a “Skinny Girl Margarita”.  Now, although her drink is OK, let me just tell you how much better mine is :) .  Plus, unlike Bethany, nothing on my body is plastic….

…Anyways, here is my take on a Skinny Girl Margarita, gone delicious!

And as a side note, I use Truvia (the new, natural, zero-cal sweetener) in this recipe instead of Splenda because my favorite Risk Resources employee begged me to stop using Splenda.  It’s never going to happen, but at least I’ll pretend in text.  Oh, and we will call him “Yolanda Vegaaaa”  after everyone’s favorite lottery queen.  (He’s slightly jealous of Rico’s sweet pet name.)

content_drawteam_yolanda_p

Oh Yolanda, you are one good looking Risk guy.

Ingredients:

  • Ice
  • 1 shot of tequila, preferably clear like Jose Silver
  • 1 Truvia packet
  • 2 shots of lime juice
  • 3 shots of diet Sprite

Mix the above ingredients and enjoy!  This drink hits around 125 calories, which isn’t so bad since 100 calories is all from the tequila!  Just be careful, these go down like water and tequila always has a funny little effect on everyone….

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Let’s talk whiskey.  I LOVE whiskey.  Good scotch, or a smooth bourbon, makes any night (or day) worth it.  I normally like my whiskey pure, scotch straight–little water, bourbon–sans rocks, Irish whiskey–pure flow.  Yet, the first time I had a Seven and Seven, I found an exception.  The old man who lives inside my heart broke out and started singing Frank Sinatra and I knew I had to find a way to drink these more often.  However, for anyone who knows me, I never like anything just the way it is.  Everything can use an update and that led to the Young and Spritely.

stripperbarbie

One too many of these cocktails led to the creation of this Stripper Barbie cake for my friend’s birthday.  Whoever said playing with Barbies wasn’t for adults was very, very wrong.  I can confidently say this cake is one of my greatest achievements.

Ingredients:

  • 2 ounces Rye Whiskey
  • 8 ounces diet Sprite
  • 1 tablespoon lime juice
  • 1 Splenda

Pour the first three ingredients into glass, and give a quick stir.  Add the Splenda right before enjoying, but make sure the glass isn’t totally full because you will get some extra bubbles. Sip, enjoy, repeat.

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As we all know from my liquor recipes, I am not the person who prefers to get their calories from a drink.  I would rather toss back a medium McDonald’s fries than one of those tiny mocha things at Starbucks.  After going through about a million boxes of the Nestle’s diet hot chocolate, I started to realize that at like 5 bucks a pop, it was costing way too much.  My Google adventures for a diet hot chocolate recipe failed, so I went to my mother’s pantry when I was home for a doctor’s appointment.  What did I find?  Ghirardelli Unsweetened Cocoa.  So what did I do?  Pour it into hot water.  It tasted like crap.  Honest to God, it tasted so bitter and terrible I wanted to smack myself upside the head for not realizing that unsweetened cocoa with 15 calories a tablespoon would be so bitter.  I threw in a little fat free half and half along with some Splenda and I was pleasantly surprised with the outcome.  The quality of the cocoa really matters in this one, so if you go and buy America’s Choice, I will be ashamed.

hot choc jess

You really want to make me sad?  Look at this face.  You DO NOT want this face.  Those eyes have melted one too many IRON fathers, bosses, and suitors to fail now!

Ingredients:

  • 1 tablespoon fat free half and half (10 calories for mine.)
  • 1 tablespoon unsweetened cocoa powder (I use Ghirardelli.)
  • 6 ounces boiling water
  • 2 Splenda

Mix the above ingredients, stirring vigorously, and enjoy!  This hot chocolate is only 25 calories, and tastes much better than the store bought, diet stuff!  Plus, if you add too much water by mistake, it’s really easy to add just a teaspoon more of the cocoa powder for only 5 more calories.

IMG00024-20090609-1247I suck at pictures, and I was thirsty.  I took this on my blackberry like the corporate tool that I am.  Don’t worry, I hate me too.

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I am continuously on a search to find alcoholic drinks that are not only low calorie, but tasty.  I try to allow my only alcoholic caloric intake to come from the alcohol itself, not the mixers.  I was walking home from work the other day (because yes, I actually enjoy the 2 mile walk to 14th street from my job) and stumbled–actually, not stumbled, almost fell–on a homeless man aboding on 15th and 3rd.  He was palming Absolute Apeach and obviously enjoying the bottle.  Ever since I saw him in Peachy Bliss, I had to get my hands on this vodka.  Rico loves martinis and this love has imparted itself upon me.  I first thought this vodka would be great in a girly, knock your socks off martini, but since I wanted to wake up the next morning on time for work, my Apeach found it’s home at the bottom of my new drink, Life is Peachy.

 

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Be careful how many of these you throw back.  Drunk munchies may force you into “Meat Overload” at Wendy’s with your old roommate, Will, who can eat whatever he wants and never get fat because it just migrates to his huge muscles.

Ingredients:

  • Two shots of Absolute Apeach
  • Seltzer to taste (I use about 8 ounces.)
  • 1 Splenda

Combine ingredients, adding splenda last.  Pour over ice and serve!  I suggest drinking it with a straw, mostly because I love straws.

Hannah montana straws

If anyone really loves me, they would buy me these.  I love Hannah Montana and I would love to enjoy my drink with these straws.  I think 21 year old Hannah would be proud.

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