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I like cheap things–cheap booze, cheap clothes, Courtney Stodden…  But I especially like cheap dinners.  This idea was a brainstorm of mine, that has been taking to another level by my roommate, her boyfriend, and that cute thing that likes me more than he should.  The turkey mixture is my original meatloaf recipe, which you should feel free to bake without the stuffing for a simple meatloaf (just up the cooking time to at least 40 minutes), or you can take it to the next level by making little cups of Thanksgiving goodness, that depending on how you make your potatoes (mine with almond milk and diet butter) and your stuffing (My first Stove Top Stuffing experience!) can be around only 100 calories each.  Two to three of these make a great serving and I’m sure sans potatoes, these babies freeze well.  Oh, and please God, use gravy and cranberry sauce and you will be in cheap, premade Thanksgiving heaven.  Bam.

PS  Why haven’t we talked more about Courtney Stodden?  This 95-year-old imposter of a 16-year-old is a bad porn on wheels.  Observe:

Ingredients (For 12 muffins, at around 2-3 muffins per person):

  • 1 lb lean ground turkey
  • 1/2 cup panko
  • 1 egg (or two egg whites)
  • 1 tsp oregano
  • 1 tsp garlic powder
  • 1 tsp onion powder
  • 1 pinch kosher salt
  • black pepper to taste (I shake this on like I’m in a Diana Summer Video.)
  • 1 tsp Worcestershire sauce
  • 1 squirt (Yes, that is a measurement to me.) or around a tablespoon of ketchup
  • Prepared stuffing of your choice (A box of Stove Top worked out perfectly for double this recipe.)
  • Premade mashed potatoes (I made a three lb bag for double the recipe, and I would assume around 1/4 cup of mash po per muffin, depending upon your preferences.  Always better to have extra; potatoes are cheap anyways.)
  • Any preferred toppings…Cranberry Sauce, Gravy…
Preheat the oven to 350.  Mix up the first 10 ingredients in a large bowl.  Using about half the mixture, press some into the bottom of 12 lined muffin tins (I used tin foil liners for heft sake), making sure to only fill about half way at most. Then add about a tablespoon of stuffing to each muffin and press down.  Add the rest of the ground turkey on top and press down.  Bake for about 30 minutes, until firm, browned around the edges, and the internal temp meets 165 degrees.  I would be very careful about cooking these enough.  The raw meat touching the stuffing is the Mom’s of America’s nightmare.  Cooked enough it’s a’okay, but there is something about shoving stuffing up the back of a raw bird…
Pipe or top with the desired mash po, and put under the broiler for about 5 minutes, until everything is brown and warm.  Serve!
I am a 5 star photographer.  Yes, those are my rain boots in the back.

I Am a Coupon Whore

I don’t think I’m alone when I say I like free things.  When I was in Middle School, my teachers would have us write letters to companies, mostly to practice our writing skills, and some of the kids would actually get free stuff in the mail.  I obviously was stupid enough to choose megagiants like Nintendo to write to, but now I’ve learned the secret.  I’ve been in Italy for a week or so, so with no recipes to post, I thought I would share some tips and tricks of free crap letter writing.  (Italy pictures coming soon, promise…)

  • Be sure to talk about how much you love the product and how you want your friends to try it.
  • If you ever have an issue with a product (my Kombucha kept exploding), keep the bottles or packaging.  They will want upc codes and anything about the product.
  • Email your issues!
  • Follow any issue with a product compliment.
  • If it’s a bigger company, go for the handwritten letter.  They find those more quaint.
  • Be super friendly and use a ton of exclamation points.

So far I’ve received coupons/merch from Zico, Vitacoco, GT’s Synergy Drinks, Jimmy Dean, American Airlines….the list goes on.  So now pull out your inner cheap skate and go for it!

Pizza Dip

Mother-effin Pizza Dip.  Done and Done.

Ingredients:

  • 1, 8 ounce, block of cream cheese, softened
  • 1 teaspoon oregano
  • 1/2 teaspoon basil
  • 1/2 teaspoon garlic powder
  • 2 cups shredded mozzarella
  • 1 cup pizza sauce (or any tomato sauce you have lying around, preferably not too chunky)
  • Chips, homemade garlic bread, crackers for dipping

Preheat the oven to 400 degrees.  Put the softened cream cheese in a pie plate or any small square/round oven safe dish.  Add the spices and mash around until well mixed, then evenly distribute across the bottom of the dish.  Sprinkle on about 1 cup of cheese, pour on tomato sauce and evenly distribute, then add the rest of the cheese.  Bake for about 15 minutes, until melty and starting to bubble.  Then, if you would like, kick on the broiler and brown the top for 3-5 minutes, or just continue baking.  Serve!

We were pretty lucky with Hurricane Irene, but we still drowned ourselves in comfort food while we waited out the storm.  After consuming pizza dip, chips and salsa, peach rings, dried mango, eggs and toast, we decided we needed a dinner meal.  This is really simple to put together, has a slight kick, and will help you forget about the giant looming crane that is outside your window during a hurricane.  However, the giant gaping holes of the 2nd avenue subway and the debris to match?  That you may need some wine for.

Ingredients:

  • 2 tablespoons olive oil
  • 6 cloves of garlic minced
  • 2 bay leaves
  • 3 teaspoons cumin
  • 1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
  • 2 teaspoons oregano
  • 2 teaspoons of onion powder
  • 2 cups of rice
  • 2 cans of Rotel (or if you like it less spicy, one can of Rotel and one can of plain old diced tomatoes)
  • 2 cans of Black beans (15 ounces)
Drain the black beans and tomatoes, reserve the liquid.
Add enough water or chicken broth until you hit 4 cups.  Heat the oil in a large cast iron pan until shimmery.
Add the garlic, and cook for 2 minutes.  Add in the spices, and cook stirring constantly for a minute.
Add the rice and toast for about 30 seconds, then add the liquid and tomatoes.
Bring to a boil, then cover and cook for about 20 minutes.  Add the beans and cook until the rice is cooked through and fluffy.  Remove the bay leaves and serve.
Preferably to some hungry Irene survivors.

Okay, so I’ve been gone for a while.  Work got crazy, life got crazy, but now I’m back.  During the time I was gone, I turned 24, ate a lot of meals at my desk, my Aunt and Uncle had a baby (He is perfect!) and I started wearing red nail polish again.  I promise to follow in the footsteps of Michael Lohan and make a stronger attempt to be better at life; so wish me luck.

Here is an incredible crispy chocolate chip cookie recipe so that you forgive me. You get to hit a chocolate bar with a hammer–what can get any better than that?

Ingredients:

  • 1 cup flour
  • 1/2 tsp baking powder
  • 1/2 tsp baking soda
  • 1/4 teaspoon salt
  • 1/2 cup Crisco vegetable shortening
  • 1 cup sugar
  • 1 egg
  • 1/2 tsp vanilla
  • 1 cup oatmeal
  • 6 ounces bittersweet chocolate– I smashed up a good chocolate bar by putting it in a plastic bag and went at it with a hammer for a good texture, but you can use chips

Mix together flour, baking powder, baking soda and salt.

Cream shortening and sugar in mixer until light and fluffy.  Add egg and vanilla.

Add in the dry stuff, mix away, adding the oatmeal and chocolate last.

Drop by teaspoonfuls, then bake in a 350 degree oven for 15 minutes or until golden brown.  Makes 2 to 3 dozen cookies.

First of all, Happy Birthday to my lovely father, who is 50% responsible for creating this monster and 100% responsible for my love of cheese.


I was so frightened and concerned by the Rapture along with Schwarzenegger’s love child that I lost my camera.  I found it two days later under my couch, but I missed the opportunity to take pictures of this food gem.  I’ve made raw zucchini pasta before, but the cooked version takes the cake.  It is really worth using good quality tomato sauce here (I would give my first-born for an endless supply of Rao’s Arrabbiatia.) and having machinery to shred your zucch.  Feel free to add any other preferred vegetables, or just a heaping amount of cayenne when you eat it the next day because you have an uncontrollable urge for spice.

Ingredients:

  • 2 large zucchinis
  • 3/4 cup tomato sauce, around 70 calories per 1/2 cup
  • 1 tablespoon fat free half and half (optional)
  • 8 ounces sliced mushrooms
  • 2 teaspoons minced garlic
  • 1 teaspoon oregano
  • Salt and peps to taste

Spray a high sided pan or Dutch oven with Pam.  Grate the zucch either by hand or using the grating tool on your food processor.  Add the garlic to the pan and let soften for around 30 seconds, then add the zucchini and mushrooms and a pinch of salt and pepper.  Allow to cook until the mushrooms and zucch are tender and the zucch has a wiggly pasta-like consistency.  Add the tomato sauce and cook until it bubbles, then stir in the oregano and salt and pepper to taste.  Feel free to add some fat free half and half here if you’re feeling frisky.  Serve and enjoy!  Makes two servings at around 115-130 calories each.

Nothing gets me more than a good, homemade tomato sauce.  I’ve never sat around and made my own slow cooked-style sauce.  However, this food processor genius may be close.  It is flavorful and thick, matching the chunky, cheesy filling of these poblanos perfectly.  They aren’t too many calories sans cheese, so adjust your cheese amount if you care about your calories.  Oh, and the pepper jack is definitely a must have and there is no exception.  Pepper jack, #winning!

Adapted from Back to the Cutting Board

Ingredients:

  • 1 can (28 oz.) whole tomatoes in puree
  • 1 jalapeno, minced (remove ribs and seeds for a milder sauce)
  • 2 small onions, chopped, divided
  • 3 garlic cloves (2 whole, 1 minced)
  • 1/2 tsp. salt, or to taste
  • 1 can (15 oz.) black beans, rinsed and drained
  • 1/2 cup yellow cornmeal
  • 1 cup shredded pepper jack cheese, divided
  • 1 tsp. cumin
  • 1/4 tsp. pepper, or to taste
  • 1 tsp. Chipotle chilli powder (optional)
  • 3/4 cup water
  • 3 large poblano chiles, halved lengthwise (stems left intact), ribs and seeds removed

Preheat oven to 425 degrees.

In a blender or food processor, puree tomatoes, minced jalapeno, half the onions, and 2 whole garlic cloves. Season with 1/4 tsp. salt; taste and add more if necessary.  You can also add any chilli powder of choice here. I have been on a chipotle kick, but ancho would work, or anything with a flavorful heat.

Pour sauce into a 9×13 in. baking dish. Set aside.

In a medium bowl, combine beans, remaining onions, minced garlic, cornmeal, 1/2 cup cheese, cumin, chili powder and 3/4 cup water. Season with 1/4 tsp. salt and 1/4 tsp. pepper (or more to taste).

Stuff poblano halves with even amounts of the bean mixture. Nestle them side-by-side in the baking dish, over the sauce. Sprinkle the poblanos with remaining 1/2 cup cheese.

Cover the baking dish tightly with aluminum foil. Bake for 45 minutes or until poblanos are tender. Uncover and continue to cook until sauce is thickened slightly and cheese is browned, about 10 to 15 minutes more. Let cool for 10 minutes.

I think I have a Mexican food addiction.  Once I learned that I could finally make rice without destroying it, all I want is rice mixed with veggies and Mexican flavorings.  Every night I’ve been fighting myself from ordering guacamole for dinner from this awesome, cheap restaurant next door to me, or throwing out my packed, healthy lunch to go get a taco salad from the food truck.  I don’t know what it is about the combination of garlic, onions, cumin and tomatoes that makes me quiver from within, but I need to have it.  All of the time.  The following recipe was a result of my impulse buy Goya Mexican rice mix and my need to shove my face into the packaging as soon as possible along with whatever I had in my cabinet.  Make sure you have 5 people around when you make this; you are going to need to save yourself…

Ingredients:

  • 1 8 ounce box Goya Mexican-flavored yellow rice, or the like (around 160 cals per 1/4 dry cup)
  • 4 green zucchini, diced
  • 16 ounces sliced mushrooms, preferably baby bellas
  • 2 teaspoons taco seasoning (or more to taste)
  • Toppings of your choice (salsa, fat free sour cream)
Make the rice according to the box.  Meanwhile, spray a large skillet with Pam. Start sauteing the zucc and mushrooms, and mix in the taco seasoning.  Cook until tender, around 7 minutes.  Mix with the rice and divide into 5 servings.  Add your toppings and enjoy!  Each serving is around 200 calories.
 
 
 
 
 
 

I have a complete inability to cook rice correctly.  I burn it, it’s crunchy, or completely mushy and gluey.  I usually Milli Vanilli my rice and buy the overpriced “boil in bag” kind or just buy it premade.  Main problem here? I LOVE Arroz con pollo and I consider it my perfect comfort food.  I always refuse to allow myself to eat rice and pasta, considering them tightly packed, calorie carb bombs.  But when rice is covered with cumin and tomatoes, I cannot resist and I needed it this weekend.  I saw Smitten Kitchen’s version, plus also had some good renditions from growing up at my Ecuadorian friend’s house.  I use to watch his mother cook this one pot dish and marvel at how little care she gave the pot, but how easily everything came together.   She was a master of a mis en place and it is quite useful in this multi-ingredient dish.

At the end of cooking, I was expecting the rice to be a gluey mess, or completely stuck to the pot, but I was wrong.  The chicken was tender, the rice was fluffy and flavorful and there was a little bit of crispy rice at the bottom of the pot, which was definitely a highlight and meant to occur.  So even if you are afraid of rice, please try this.  It is pretty foolproof, just make sure that the rice is submerged and you don’t open the pot too often to stir– letting steam escape ruins the cooking rice.  I made a half recipe because I only had one broken down chicken, but I could easily see myself making a double or triple recipe for a crowd.  If I can do it, I promise, you can too.

Adapted from Smitten Kitchen

Serves 8

Chicken:

  • 3 large garlic cloves
  • Salt
  • 2 tablespoons distilled white vinegar
  • 2 teaspoons dried oregano, crumbled
  • 4 chicken breast halves with bone, halved crosswise
  • 4 chicken drumsticks
  • 4 chicken thighs

Rice:

  • 6 ounces Spanish chorizo (cured sausage), skin discarded and sausage cut into 1/4-inch-thick slices  ( I just used hot chorizo from Fresh Direct and removed the casing and let it fall apart.  Yum.)
  • 1 tablespoon olive oil
  • 2 medium onions, chopped
  • 3 large garlic cloves, chopped
  • 2 teaspoons ground cumin
  • 2 teaspoons dried oregano
  • 1 1/2 teaspoons paprika
  • 1/2 teaspoon chipotle chilli powder (optional)
  • 2 Turkish bay leaves or 1 California
  • 1 lb. tomatoes, seeded and chopped
  • 1 12-ounce. bottle beer (not dark)
  • 1 1/2 cups reduced-sodium chicken broth
  • 2 cups long-grain white rice (14 ounces)

Marinate chicken: Mince and mash garlic to a paste with 2 teaspoons salt, then transfer to a large bowl. Stir in vinegar and oregano.

Remove skin and excess fat from chicken, then toss chicken with marinade until coated and marinate, covered and chilled, at least 1 hour, two hours max.

To cook chicken and rice:  Cook chorizo in olive oil in a 6- to 7-quart heavy pot (12 inches wide) over medium-high heat, stirring, until some fat is rendered, 2 to 3 minutes. Add onions and garlic and cook, stirring until softened, about 5 minutes.

Add cumin, oregano, paprika, 1 1/4 teaspoons salt, and bay leaves and cook, stirring, 1 minute.

Add chicken with marinade to chorizo mixture and cook, uncovered, over medium heat, stirring frequently, 10 minutes.

Remove the chicken to a separate plate for a quick second.  Stir in tomatoes, beer, broth, and rice and bring to a boil, making sure rice is submerged.  Add back in the chicken.

Reduce heat to medium-low, then cover mixture directly with a round of parchment or wax paper and cover pot with a tight-fitting lid. Cook, stirring once or twice, until rice is tender, 20 to 30 minutes.

Remove from heat and let stand, covered, 5 minutes. Discard parchment paper and bay leaves.

Enjoy!

My final picture came out awful because of the steam, so I leave you with this…

Spain!

So where have I been?  Well, gallivanting around Spain where I was sampling tons of delicious food– tapas, bocadillos, calamares fritos and paella galore. Within our travels, we took a cooking class in Barcelona and it was awesome. There were over a dozen of us in the class and we all took turns preparing the food.  The company, Cook and Taste, was very well put together and the class took up a good amount of time on a Monday with plenty of wine and food to sample.

Take a cooking class in Barcelona.  This place is incredible!

We made paella, tomato bread and more…

Then there were restaurants with fried bits of Jamon Iberico.

Eat awful pizza in the rain.  Yes pizza in Spain is AWFUL.

There were trucks for RIBS.

A fine dining meal at Horcher, one of the best meals I have ever had.  Beef carpaccio, potato leek soup with truffles and egg, roast loin of veal, oxtail…

Some things a little less classy…

Plenty of sangria…

And plenty of happiness.

Please add Spain to your list.  It is worth the trip–and the waistline expansion.

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